Get Bent!

payday today. score.

This fortnight's rough draft budget:
$50 gas
$40 food/entertainment ($8 spiderman ticket this weekend. $12 Spoon cd. $20 food-think dollar menu. you're poor, dammit!)
$50 cd deck. stupid bloody Jack didnt even come with a radio...piece of shit.
$50 haircut/dye job. my neighbor owns a salon and gives me a discount.
$25 piercing fund. I've always wanted to get a nose stud, and since i've gone completely batshit lately anyway, now seems like a good time. 

and whatever is left-i wont see the check for the office job until tomorrow-goes to long term savings. 

i love my job at the bakery. Fun people, good food, decent hours, easy work. I spent a ridiculous amount of time today leaning against the counter debating with some co-workers about whether mint-tingle condoms are REALLY worth the extra $1. The office job is a little more like...actual work. I'm learning a ton about insurance and stocks and investments-three things i would probably not have taken the time to investigate on my own-which is a good thing, i'm sure. the more i learn, though, the more i realize how ridiculously easy it would be for a determined, intelligent person to steal any identity they wanted. I've thought of at least four different ways that someone in my position could have stolen information and used it in ways that did not immediately incriminate themselves. fortunately, i have morals. I just have to have something to think about during the monotony, LMFAO. 

Is it wierd that i'm seriously considering pursuing a career that's directly related to crime? hah. criminal psychology, criminal justice, or criminal profiling. something like that. I've never even been that into CSI , but i hear those fields are nothing like they portray them anyway.

what time is it?

it's morbid time.

hypothetically, If you were to commit suicide, how would you do it? I want to hear from everyone on my F-list! yes, you.
(inspired by a post in

mixtape

my favorite community, not suicidal thoughts. calm down kids.)

there are so many ways to die, if you think about it....i think the conventional shooting yourself, hanging yourself or slitting your wrists would be too conventional for me (although bleeding to death would be an interesting sensation, i think. Life just...slowly ebbing away.) Also out of the question would be jumping from some sort of building, because it attracts too much attention and seems more like a cry for help than a real suicidal intent. I think i would try doing something that could either be interpreted as a suicide or an accident, like crashing a plane, or standing in an open space smack in the middle of a lightning storm. Ooooh, death by lightning. How awesome is that? 

mmmmk, now you. feel free to repost in your journal with the same question or anything along the lines of "If you were to..." that isnt so gruesome in subject.

....though it may look like

mouthwash. Listerine, extra extra strength.

Let's say you're poor white trash who has never, ever had cheesecake. All you've ever had are crappy stale little debbie snacks from the ghetto grocery store, but these taste pretty good to you, so you keep on buying them. You dont care about finding anything better and mock the people who buy the really expensive pastries. Then one day, out of nowhere, you come home and there's a peice of cheesecake sitting on the table. You dont know why it's there, but you decide to try it because it is. And after the first bite you're hooked. Totally, completely addicted. Foolishly you take another bite, and another, but out of nowhere, before you can even get to the cherry on top, an earthquake hits your house and knocks that fucking peice of cheesecake from your hands. You cover your head and survive, somehow, the fallout, but that cheesecake is gone. You dig frantically through the rubble but it will not be retrieved.

and afterwards, in the days to come, walking around that grocery store, there are candy bars, sugar cookies, donuts, muffins, brownies and enough goddamn mass-manufactored sweet snacks to feed a small country; good things surround you, but compared to that cheesecake, they taste like cardboard. And even though you're starving, you dont want anything else. But the store doesnt have any, and even if they did, you're pretty sure it wouldnt be as good as that one unique peice. A twisting ache in your stomach follows you everywhere, constantly, and never has the courtesty to even fade slightly because you just cant get that fucking taste off your tongue. And as time plows wearily on you start to wish, horribly-and for the first time in your life-that you had never even tried that cake, that you had never even seen it, that you could swim through time and kick it from your table with enough venom to send it reeling into outer fucking space.